Karen and Neil Crossland of Fairfield renew their commitment to their sacramental marriage during the 50th+ wedding anniversary Mass Oct. 18 at St. Patrick Church in Iowa City.
By Lindsay Steele
The Catholic Messenger
IOWA CITY — Marriage is where mercy becomes real, Bishop Dennis Walsh told married couples at the Diocese of Davenport’s 50th+ Wedding Anniversary Mass. “Mercy is the secret to a long marriage,” he said. “You learn how to let go of hurts. You learn how to start fresh, to begin again, to forgive one another. … You learn to love as God loves.”
The annual diocesan event celebrates couples who have been married 50 years or more. About 30 couples participated in the liturgy and reception Oct. 18 at St. Patrick Parish in Iowa City.
Sofia Livorsi and Joe Mattingly welcomed the honored guests with a selection of worship songs and led music worship during Mass. The duo sang two-part harmonies as Mattingly accompanied on piano.
The bishop began his homily with a playful anecdote about a couple who, when asked about the secret to a long marriage, responded that “one of us is always right, (but) we still haven’t figured out which one is right.” The crowd laughed. “That’s the kind of humor you earn only after decades of marriage,” the bishop said.
He noted that the couples in the pews “didn’t just stay married,” but “grew into marriage.” Long and healthy marriages are built on daily choices, a decision to say “yes” to love even when it is challenging. Strong couples practice patience, kindness and forgiveness, and choose to stay when life gets hard, and they learn that not every hill is worth dying on.
The bishop concluded his homily by reminding couples that their marriage is a witness to God’s faithful love. “The community sees something strong, something sturdy.”
Richard and Pamela Beaird of Church of All Saints Parish in Keokuk renew their commitment to their sacramental marriage during the 50th+ Wedding Anniversary Mass Oct. 18 at St. Patrick Parish in Iowa City.
After Mass, couples and their families lined up to take photos with Bishop Walsh and receive their gifts — a copy of “A Psalter for Couples” by Pierre Marie Dumont, and a personalized bookmark handmade by diocesan Faith Formation Office staff.
Couples and their families capped the celebration with a reception in the parish center, presented by St. Patrick’s hospitality committee. Volunteers walked around serving champagne, sparkling grape juice and other celebratory beverages as guests enjoyed slices of cake. “Everything was beautiful,” said Kathy Osinksi of Divine Mercy Parish in Burlington/West Burlington. She attended the event with her husband, Len, and another couple from the parish.
Karen Crossland of St. Mary Parish in Fairfield said the event was extra special because her husband, Neil, recently joined the Church. “For us to celebrate this together is just the best thing ever.”
The key to longevity
When asked what advice they’d give to newlyweds, the long-married couples overwhelmingly told The Catholic Messenger that healthy conflict resolution is essential. Setbacks and disagreements are inevitable, even with the best of intentions.
Cyndi Jarvis, a lay counselor and spiritual director, emphasized the importance of listening with curiosity. “At least I can know where he is coming from, even if I don’t agree,” she said of her husband, Craig. He extends the same grace to her, she added.
Ann Haas of St. Thomas More Parish in Coralville, attending with her husband, Thomas, said the bad times have helped her to recognize and appreciate the good times on a deeper level.
Setting an example for the next generation
Many couples said they appreciated Bishop Walsh’s message about the importance of being a witness to God’s plan for love and marriage. “When you have kids, you realize you’re setting an example (for them),” said Kathy Welch of the Coralville parish, attending with her husband, Alan. “Our kids have said they found it helpful to have that example.”
David and Ruth Fleming stop for a photo op with Bishop Dennis Walsh after the 50th+ Wedding Anniversary Mass Oct. 18 at St. Patrick Parish in Iowa City. Behind the camera is Mary Jacobsen, lay ministry coordinator for the Diocese of Davenport.
Ivy Tuck, daughter of Richard and Pamela Beaird of Church of All Saints Parish in Keokuk, was among several family members in attendance to support the long-married couple. She said her parents demonstrate “a solid commitment to each other, being good co-spouses and just loving each other day in and day out.” The couple said patience, love and a willingness to compromise have helped them honor that commitment.
Joseph Myers of the Burlington/West Burlington parish said God has been integral in his marriage to wife Mary. “You need strength in the Lord to stay together.” “Through good times and bad,” his wife added.
