By Jenna Ebener
A reflection
I recently saw “Toy Story 5.” It is astonishing to me how children’s movies have increasingly deep messages, both for kids and adults. Over the last decade or so, I have seen a positive trend in the content of many children’s movies, I love how I can appreciate movies meant for kids due to the deep messages embedded throughout. In “Toy Story 5,” in one of the story lines, we get to see a fruit of pain.
One of the main characters, Jessie, has deep scars from being abandoned by her first owner. That abandonment resulted in questions about self-worth and relationships. I will not spoil it, but she finds out that even though she was given up, the impact she made on her owner lasted forever.
I cannot help but make a similar connection to the students I work with. As I attended yet another funeral for a deceased student, I wrestled with the question of how many more? I know this is not the last funeral I will attend. I have attended well over a dozen funerals in 11 years and am starting to lose count. What makes these services harder is knowing it will not be the last one; it might even be a small percentage compared to how many more I will attend in the future.
It can be easy to get stuck in this fear of how much more I will have to suffer. Though the situations are different, Jesse had a similar fear. Her fear was about how many more owners will she have. But then she realized the impact she had on her first owner, and that gave her great joy and meaning. Her realization helped give me new perspective on how I view our students dying.
One of the reasons I attend these funerals is to focus on what Jessie did — the impact. While I may not know if or how I impacted these students, I do know how they impacted me. At these services, I receive the great gift of seeing how these students also impacted others.
I was especially struck by this student’s story, for the first of countless impacts he made on others was clear and immediate. On the day he was born, I learned his dad, and eventually their whole family, turned to God. They knew their lives had changed forever and there were deep struggles ahead. They knew they could not face those challenges alone. So, they turned to God. It brings me great peace to see how God brings blessings out of pain.
Our students embody the concept of courage. They are stronger than I will ever know, facing pain and challenges that most people cannot even dream of. Many of them cannot speak, communicate easily, or even move their arms. Yet, they often radiate pure joy and love. They are authentic. They are beautiful. They teach us compassion. While I do not wish their suffering on anyone, I cannot help but see the impact they have on society. For if these beautiful souls did not exist, our world would be an even darker place than it already is. I see them, and I see Jesus embodied.
My heart breaks that they face so many challenges, and I painfully rejoice when their suffering ends. My prayer is that they can see the fruits of their suffering whether that is bringing others closer to God, teaching others how to be compassionate, or simply showing others how to enjoy the little things of life.
What is one fruit that has come out of your suffering? “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance” (James 1:2-3).
(Jenna Ebener, a graduate of St. Ambrose University in Davenport, is a social worker at a school in Colorado for students with a combination of medical, cognitive and behavior disabilities. She relies on God every day to aid her on this wonderful, yet intense journey.)
