By Jenna Ebener
A reflection
There seemed to be a lot of talk about the Sunday Mass readings in early September. At face value, the readings from Ezekiel and Matthew seem to encourage others to call others out who are not following the Catholic way. When I arrived at the nursing home for the weekly communion service, residents were already asking for some clarity on the readings. Luckily, I had already been to Mass and read multiple reflections on the readings, one from the pope. The answer, as it always seems to be, is love.
Our world already seems to be filled with people from all sides speaking out “to dissuade the wicked from his way” (Ezekial 33: 8). Yet, rarely does the primary action or reaction seem to come out of a place of love and gentleness. If only our world could see that the way to help others change is through love, not more hatred. It is so easy to simply react, even when the situation is small.
At our school, we talk all the time about how important it is to keep our nervous systems calm, for how we act rubs off on our students. If they are dysregulated and we get anxious or frustrated too, the students become more unsafe. If we can stay calm in the face of the storm, that storm will blow through much quicker and our students may have learned some valuable coping skills in the process.
It can often be effortless to look at my students with nothing but compassion and kindness, no matter how unsafe they are being. I know their reactions have a source — there are often many things that build up to moments of escalation, and they simply need a loving response and time to help them reset. It can be a lot harder for me to apply that patience to the rest of the world. It can be easy to get lost thinking that others should know better. Yet, everyone is how they are for many reasons, and those reasons will not change overnight. Attitudes will only get harsher if we respond with judgment, yet it is so easy to judge first.
However, I have seen many situations when humanity does come together. Natural disasters and mass violence attacks, as awful as they are, often bring the good out in others as people set aside their differences to support each other. Then, there are less heavy examples. A few weeks ago, I had the joy of attending my first Banana Ball game. I have never been to a sporting event where there was so much community. No one seemed to have strong feelings about which team won. The two teams were having so much fun. Even the umpires were dancing constantly. The activities on the sidelines and between innings featured countless children and finding ways to make them feel special. It was an atmosphere of joy and connection.
How wonderful would it be if we could bring that energy into our everyday interactions? If we could look without judging and simply experience the moment? What is one small way you can look at a stranger with curiosity and kindness today? “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience” (Colossians 3:12).
(Jenna Ebener, a graduate of St. Ambrose University in Davenport, is a social worker at a school in Colorado for students with a combination of medical, cognitive and behavior disabilities. She relies on God every day to aid her on this wonderful, yet intense journey.)
