Deacon Chris Kabat, left, speaks with Jared Hill of St. Patrick Parish in Iowa City during a men’s retreat at the parish earlier this month.
By Mila Grady
For The Catholic Messenger
IOWA CITY — More than 80 Catholic men gathered at St. Patrick Parish recently for a retreat titled “Equipped for the Battle: Growth in Manly Virtue.” The event, with its mix of prayer, reflection and fraternity, aimed to strengthen men in their faith and vocation.
Presenters Father Troy Richmond, Deacon Angel Hernandez and Deacon Chris Kabat reflected on the spiritual challenges men face today and the virtues needed to live as faithful disciples of Christ.
“The retreat aligned with the unique needs of Christian men and established the need to answer questions like ‘Who am I, and why am I here,’” said participant Bill Wise, a member of St. Thomas More Parish in Coralville.
Reclaiming Christian Identity
Father Richmond, pastor of St. Patrick Parish, opened the retreat by encouraging men to reclaim their Christian identity and recognize the many forms of bondage that can keep them from living fully in God’s freedom.
He recalled dreaming of achieving a high position in the school orchestra. When he finally achieved that goal, he celebrated the accomplishment but later realized he had failed to give God the glory.
The story illustrated what he described as “inordinate desires” —unhealthy attachments to worldly things that distract from reliance on God. These may include the unchecked pursuit of perfection, esteem, material success or possessing excessive competitiveness, he said.
Father Richmond also spoke about triggers that can lead to sin, including self-accusations, feelings of unworthiness, flattery, temptations, division and discouragement. “Know the triggers that lead you into sin. Know thyself.” Men also may struggle with the desire for immediate gratification, “those fleeting pleasures that give us an adrenaline hit,” he explained.
Yet through baptism, he reminded participants, Catholic men already possess the grace of their true identity. Quoting St. John Paul II, Father Richmond said, “We are not the sum of our weaknesses and failures. We are the sum of our Father’s love for us.”
He encouraged the gathering to learn how to be obedient sons. “The word obedient is unpopular in our culture. But obedience is rooted in listening. Am I able to hear the voice of the shepherd calling me to be a holy man, an obedient man, a faithful husband, a good father?” Father Richmond pointed to St. Joseph, who faithfully lived his vocation with humility and trust in God, as a model for Catholic men.
The Battle of Prayer
Deacon Angel Hernandez, who serves St. Patrick Parish, spoke about the importance of prayer. “I’m the first person to admit that I struggle with prayer. But prayer is the training ground for the soul,” he said.
Many men enter the spiritual battle unequipped because prayer, essential to the Christian life, can be difficult to sustain, he believes. It requires patience and quiet amid life’s many distractions. “When prayer disappears, even subtly, our connection with the Divine weakens. Christ becomes secondary in our lives, and our souls begin to wither.” Although people may try to fill the emptiness in their hearts and search for comfort elsewhere, with activity, possessions, success, pleasure, or human respect, “The world cannot satisfy the heart, only God can,” Deacon Angel said.
Authentic Masculinity
The final speaker, Deacon Kabat, spoke about authentic masculinity and the call to sacrificial love. The deacon served St. Wenceslaus Parish in Iowa City before relocating to LaCrosse, Wisconsin, a few years ago.
Deacon Kabat spoke about his experience as a student athlete at the University of Iowa. He excelled at gymnastics, something that largely formed his sense of self. After breaking Big Ten records during a major meet in his junior year, his pride reached a new level. That began to change when he met his future wife, Julie, at age 21. “She slowly started chipping away at my prideful heart,” he said.
Deacon Kabat believes Jesus revealed the true image of masculinity through his sacrificial love on the cross. Men can learn a great deal from the example of the saints, as well. Like St. Joseph, men are called to be protectors of their wives, children, and the world around them.
He also pointed to the witness of St. Maximilian Kolbe, the priest who offered his life in place of a stranger in the Auschwitz concentration camp during WWII. Kolbe continued to pray and sing hymns, even in captivity. “We must pray for that inner strength — the grit that we were made for,” he said. “If it means laying down your life, then do it,” he said.
Participant Jared Hill, a member of St. Patrick Parish, came away from the retreat motivated to “take seriously the role of leading my family, not by my own authority, but with the heart of sacrifice and service that Christ exemplifies towards his Church.” He is grateful for the local community of Catholic men, husbands and fathers. “Knowing that many of these men have similar struggles gives me courage that I’m not alone, and that I have a great brotherhood to lean on.”
