As time goes on it becomes more valuable

Facebooktwittermail

By Brennen Schmertmann
Fatherhood in Real Time

Schmertmann

Fatherhood is tough. I could end the column right there and every dad who reads this would sip his coffee, nod his head, and say, “yep.” I am proud to say that I am the father of five beautiful children. Four here on earth and one with Jesus.

Like many fathers out there, I deal with the challenges and beauties of life and I would like to share it in these columns. I offer no wisdom (the Lord knows he has not blessed me with that ability). This is a column directed to men currently going through the trials of fatherhood and would like to know that they are not alone.

Most articles on fatherhood are from guys who have many more years of experience, reflecting on those years and offering advice to help younger men through their journey. A great service and definitely needed. However, this column is akin to talking to your fellow soldier in the foxhole. Someone who is dealing with the bombshells of the world with you in real time. So, let us kick off our inaugural article by discussing the scarcity of free time.

epay

Last weekend, I had an evening scheduled with my cousins, looking forward to our first board game night in over a year. We were meeting at 6:30 p.m., which is a tough time for me as a father with children under 6 years old who need to go to bed.

I was able to get them to bed and arrive at the board game night by 7 p.m., but I was nervous. My oldest daughter, who is 2 years old, wakes up in the middle of the night sometimes and only wants me to put her back to bed, which is sweet and beautiful. However, it makes it difficult for my wife, who graciously sacrificed her evening so I could have a night out.

One and a half hours into game night, we were doing fine. These game nights typically last until midnight. By phone, my wife tells me that everyone is sleeping and everything is fine. Relief comes over me and it seems like we are in the clear. Thirty minutes later, my wife calls asking me to come home. I tell my cousins I have to leave and then I come home to two crying children.

My wife and I were able to put our daughters back to sleep. She felt awful that my game night had ended. Although I wasn’t mad, I was disappointed. Not at my wife or my daughter but, at the situation. God asking me to sacrifice myself.

Free time is how I unwind for the day or am able to cope with difficult situations. The ability to take time for myself to work things out on a daily basis is necessary. However, since I have had children, my free time has dwindled. This scarcity has been a difficult adjustment.

I try to find any time during the day that I can call my own. Time that I can spend doing what I want to do and not what others need me to do. Time where I can switch “off” and not have to wear all the hats I have to wear during the day.

God knows that I crave this time and probably idolize it. Time is a gift, all of it. Every second of my life is a gift that never had to be given. I have to look back and thank God for the two hours he gave me even though I am still disappointed that I didn’t receive the time that I wanted. I struggle with that. A lesson that I am trying to learn is that time is not mine … time is God’s.

(Brennen Schmertmann attends St. Paul the Apostle Parish in Davenport. )


Support The Catholic Messenger’s mission to inform, educate and inspire the faithful of the Diocese of Davenport – and beyond! Subscribe to the print and/or e-edition which has more content, or make a one-time donation, today!

Print Friendly, PDF & Email
Facebooktwittermail
Posted on

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *