By Barb Arland-Fye
Editorial
A priest shared this warmhearted memory of a woman whose obituary he emailed to The Catholic Messenger: “As a postmaster Carolyn would receive baby chicks to be delivered. She kept them warm and dry and gave them water. She often had to deliver the chicks after hours if her subcarrier did not have room for the big rectangular box in his vehicle.”
Carolyn also shared her passion for sewing and crafting with an organization that helped families fighting with cancer. Her obituary and the obituaries of other Catholics from our diocese offer insight on how to honor our deceased loved ones through our actions as well as our prayers, to heal the break in our broken society.
How fitting that we commemorate all saints and all souls in this month of November in which we conclude a presidential election and the liturgical year. Here are examples taken from the obituaries of other Catholics who have died this year but leave a lasting impression for all of living out our faith in today’s world. Take note of the generosity, kindness, selflessness and commitment to family and community referenced in these obituaries of loved ones whose faith laid the foundation for the direction of their lives:
- Dick, a philanthropist and active member of his parish, “will be lovingly remembered as incredibly thoughtful of others, generous, and kind. His smile was welcoming and his friendly, helpful nature allowed him to make friends easily.”
- Scott could fix anything. “He would lend a hand without question to his neighbors, friends and family. He would be the first to say he was so proud to be married to Terri, Dad to Autumn, and Papa to his buddy, Patrick; nothing better in his life than his family!”
- Joan was a respected matriarch, a loving mother, and a savvy businesswoman with a lifelong dedication to her community and family. … Joan’s commitment to her community was evident in her extensive volunteer work …”
- “Mike will be remembered for his generous spirit … and the funny face only he could make that always brought a smile.”
- Mary Margaret “was incredibly kind.”
An essay that appeared in the Catholic Review of the Archdiocese of Baltimore more than a decade ago speaks eloquently about “Honoring the dead by honoring the living.” The essayist reflected on a meditation he read on the plaque of a deceased faculty member, Dr. Joan Saltman, at Loyola University Maryland Graduate School in Columbia.
She said, in part, “Give what’s left of me to children and old folks. And if you need to cry, cry for your brother or sister walking the street beside you. And when you need me, put your arm around someone and give them what you need to give to me. I want to leave you something, something better than words or sounds. Look for me in the people I’ve known and loved. And if you cannot give me away at least let me live in your eyes and not in your mind.”
Her words are “so similar to what Christ would say to us,” the essayist wrote. “We cannot free our loved ones from the power of death but we can work to free others from the forces of political oppression and fear and guilt and sin.”
Concluding, the essayist turned the mirror of mortality on his readers. After we die, “What will be left of us is what we have become. If we allow ourselves to become more and more the living presence of love, then love will be precisely what we leave behind …” (https://tinyurl.com/mrykn73a).
How can we honor the memory of the Carolyns of this world, who set aside their needs to provide tender loving care to baby chicks and deliver them safely to their new homes?
Barb Arland-Fye, Editor
arland-fye@davenportdiocese.org
