By Barb Arland-Fye
Editor

Bible study with Uncle Joe was about to begin on Zoom. First, Joe wanted to show me a greeting card he had received from my adult son, Colin, his great-nephew. Joe opened the card, wondering if I might decipher the handwriting for him. Colin, who is autistic, has many gifts but handwriting is not one of them!
Although Joe and I couldn’t decipher the body of the short message, we could read the heartfelt closing, “Hope to see you soon, Love Colin.” My son had enclosed a photo of himself in his Challenger League baseball uniform. The thoughtful greeting card touched Joe deeply.
Joe was not the first relative to share his appreciative surprise in receiving a greeting card from Colin. In recent weeks, my dad, Ray, mentioned during a phone call that Colin had sent a greeting card to him and my mom. A couple of days later, my brother Tim mentioned that Colin had sent a birthday greeting to his Aunt Carleen, Tim’s wife. A couple of weeks later, Colin sent a card to both Tim and Carleen to say hello. Steve and I also received a greeting card, as did our younger son, Patrick. Other relatives and friends have been recipients of greeting cards from Colin.
I knew about Colin’s greeting card project but did not anticipate the recipients’ responses. Amanda, Colin’s dedicated supervisor of his support services, suggested the idea a few months ago after we talked about having Colin send thank you notes to my friend Helene for greeting cards she sent to him. Amanda suggested broadening the scope of appreciation to extended family as a way to establish a habit. Colin lives for rituals! I provided names, addresses, birthdays and other significant dates that our relatives celebrate.
As the recipient of one of Colin’s cards, an unexpected gift that I opened one night after work recently, I felt the warmth of his love, which sometimes is difficult for him to articulate. He has always cared deeply about other people, which is apparent in his interactions with them. However, he doesn’t pick up on social skills naturally.
Colin doesn’t know intuitively that these greeting cards are meaningful to his recipients. Creating them has become part of his routine, which is helping him to make that connection concretely. He is beginning to understand why he should reciprocate Helene’s thoughtfulness toward him.
I told him this past weekend that he is a kind, loving person, which I appreciate very much. He looked at me seriously and responded with a non sequitur about two support service staffers having quit their jobs but, rest assured, he was handling it! I commended him for his coping skills and that ended our discussion.
That evening I wrote a note on colorful stationary to Colin to reciprocate his gift and to convey my appreciation through a concrete gesture, not just words. I can picture the excitement on his face when he opens his mailbox. A text message of gratitude to Amanda seemed appropriate as well. “… You have tapped into Colin’s warm heart and goodness and helped him to share his goodness with others,” I texted.
In a homily that Pope Francis gave Sept. 4, 2013 he said, “Let us ask the Lord to show us and the world the beauty and fullness of this new life, of being born of the Spirit, of treating each other with kindness, with respect. Let us ask for this grace for us all.” The greeting card project is a good place to start.
(Contact Editor Barb Arland-Fye at arland-fye@davenportdiocese.org)