By William Fer
Guest Column
When we pray to God with an intention, we are not saying to God, “Let MY will be done” we are praying to God that his will be done; and, for him to give us strength, courage, and wisdom to carry on no matter what the predicament rolls out to be.
Yes, of course, we pray to God to look over, to protect, to cure our loved ones. God gets that. That is what he wants us to do. We can pray for intercession, but his will will be done. Our prayers are for the individual — for their care, safety, recovery or return to us, but also, our prayers are for our own care, safety and recovery as God’s will shall be done.
Our prayers are for God to watch over our caregivers or individuals involved with our loved ones. I do not want to be cold or callous or sound defeatist, but no amount of prayers, or prayers said in a certain way or number of times can alter God’s will. What I hope for in my prayers is that whatever happens, I will not stray from God because I know he isn’t straying from me. It’s like tugging on a rope line to feel resistance so I know that someone is still behind (or ahead) or me. If resistance isn’t there, it means I am on my own.
Whenever I hear someone state their prayers were answered and their loved one survived or some earthly action occurred to benefit them, I shudder. I shudder because I’ve seen knees hit the floor in our hospital from the most devotedly religious people and their prayers of recovery are not answered. I’ve seen friends lose jobs and struggle to find employment and stretch dollar to dollar, and their prayers are not answered.
Why?
Why does patient X survive a diagnosis when my father had the same diagnosis and died? Why does Joe Lunchbox struggle to find employment and other people don’t?
Maybe, just maybe, God’s will is in play. It’s always in play and my play is to pray for his calming presence to help me through whatever situations I face. His calming influence; his calming presence.
Those six words are part of the most common prayer I say. I’m not admitting I let go of the wheel and yell, “God’s will be done!” as I drive to work, but I do try (struggling mightily at times) to accept what is happening around me as a smidge of a bigger picture.
It is quite normal and expected to be frustrated when you see two like-scenarios play out and results could not be further from identical. You run the identical time in a race and win one week but come in fourth the next; two identical diagnoses have 180-degree different results.
Do some of the actions, results and scenarios I’ve seen leave me questioning the benevolence of an ever-present, mindful God? Yes. I imagine my quizzical look is dwarfed by his quizzical look when I say and do half the things I say and do.
I’ve made massive mistakes and I know I am on a toll road. There are debts I have created that must be paid. I just hope the road I am on has bumpers like bowling alleys have for kids.
When I pray to feel God’s presence, it is more a prayer for me to recall he doesn’t leave. His job as God is to always be there with us and for us no matter what stupid thing I am currently doing or stupid place I am currently in. He is there. His will is for me to be my best Bill. I’d like that for myself as well, but I do not always act that way.
So, simply, my point is we must pray. But, also, we must think about what we are praying for. Pray for his calming presence or your family’s health or the safe travels of a friend, but know you are praying for yourself as well. Again, I am not the brightest bulb or the sharpest tool in the shed, but I do know God is. And he’s always ready, willing and able to help me.
(William Fer is a member of St. Paul the Apostle Parish in Davenport. He works as a Patient Safety and Accreditation Specialist at UnityPoint Health Trinity in Rock Island, Illinois.)
