By Jenna Ebener
A reflection
I would like to dedicate this month’s article to a dear Dominican Sister who recently passed away, Sister Melissa Waters. While I attended Dominican University in River Forest, Illinois, for three years, I did not meet Sister Melissa until near the end of my time there. However, one visit was all it took to fall in love with this remarkable woman. From our first interaction, she had a way of making me feel special, seen, and unconditionally loved. This observation was clearly not unique. As quoted by her mentee at her funeral, “[s]he had a way of making each of us feel that we were uniquely hers, even while she was generously everyone’s.”
It was so uplifting to watch her funeral and hear every single speaker proclaim the pure love, joy, and sincerity of this incredible woman. It was so validating to see that the world saw what I saw — what I can only imagine as the closest resemblance to Jesus as we can find on earth.
Every single interaction with Sister Melissa always lifted my spirits and left me feeling seen and loved. We stayed in touch for over 13 years. I visited her when I could, and we had monthly phone calls. Near the last year of her life, we started talking every couple of weeks, for I knew my time with her was running out. Sister Melissa was there for me through my darkest days. When I was deep in depression and self-loathing, when I was struggling with relationships, when I had to make very difficult decisions, she was there. Not only was she there, but she unequivocally supported me no matter what. Even when I was questioning certain Church teachings, she never doubted me or my intentions. She never judged me. She never told me I was wrong. She never added to my shame. She simply responded with love.
I truly imagine every interaction with Sister Melissa was what interacting with Jesus face-to-face will be like someday. There was nothing but love in her every response, even when I called and she was too tired to talk or had company. Every second with her was filled with pure joy and love at even being able to say hello to me.
She knew deep suffering and her health failed her over time, yet she always found a way to present a purely joyful spirit and to radiate love. Her suffering allowed her to connect with me and so many others on a deep level, for since she knew pain, she could easily relate to others with compassion instead of judgement. She used her hardships to lift others up.
How would our lives be different if we lived like that? How would our world be different if we had more Sister Melissas in our lives? I pray for all of us that we can have even one interaction a day that was as pure as each of hers. I pray that we see Jesus in others without question and can give our undivided attention to even one conversation a day. Perhaps, it is even starting with one simple phrase that I heard from Sister Melissa at least once, if not more, in every conversation: “I carry you in my heart.”
While I already miss her dearly, I know that her legacy will live on, both in me and everyone who ever interacted with her. For a love like that cannot help but spread. In the words of my dear friend, “Goodbye for now.”
(Jenna Ebener, a graduate of St. Ambrose University in Davenport, is a social worker at a school in Colorado for students with a combination of medical, cognitive and behavior disabilities. She relies on God every day to aid her on this wonderful, yet intense journey.)
