Catholic women chat during a morning retreat at St. Patrick Parish in Iowa City earlier this month.
By Mila Grady
For The Catholic Messenger
IOWA CITY — How do we cultivate the fruit of the Holy Spirit and intentionally live lives filled with love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? More than 100 women sought answers to that question during a half-day retreat at St. Patrick Parish earlier this month.
“This retreat was packed with spiritual wisdom, delivered by four devoted Catholic women,” said parishioner Kathy Bassett. “It was rich and rewarding — something that could easily have filled an entire day.” Women from several local parishes attended.
Following Mass to start the day, Michelle Cain, director of Catechesis of the Good Shepherd at St. Wenceslaus Parish in Iowa City, opened the retreat with a presentation on the fruits of love and kindness. God is perfect love and perfect kindness, she told the multi-parish audience.
Pointing to the Gospel image of the vine and branches from John 15:5 — “He who abides in me, and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit” — Cain challenged the women to consider how they remain in Christ throughout the day. “We are in a spiritual boot camp,” she said. “We must train ourselves to keep God always on our minds.” Cain encouraged the gathering to pray the Examen twice daily to become more aware of God’s presence and how they are responding to his love in that moment. Developed by St. Ignatius of Loyola, the five step exercise encourages people to “examine” events each day from a spiritual perspective.
Cain explained that love is sacrificial and active, including intercessory prayer. Kindness, she added, requires gentleness — including gentleness toward ourselves. “God is always wooing us as his beloved,” she said. “Give Him permission to love you and take you deeper.”
Peace and joy were the focus of the second speaker, Mary Fran Karanikolas, a writer, former parish pastoral associate, and Benedictine oblate. She fell away from the Church for a time, she explained, and came back during a prolonged hospitalization for a severe breast abscess. In a dark moment, she slipped quietly into daily Mass and rediscovered the one who is the source of peace and joy.
Later, when her husband faced a layoff, she found stability in the Liturgy of the Hours. “Praying the psalms gives a rhythm to the day that is calming,” she said. “It’s a full range of speaking to God — pleading, praising, repenting, and even cursing the darkness.”
After a difficult move to the Twin Cities, Karanikolas learned of the St. Vincent de Paul shoe ministry. One Saturday, overwhelmed and unable to get out of bed, she heard a voice say, “Get up!” That day she began serving alongside others who were called by the Holy Spirit. “I received blessings from the poor we served — and that was joy compounded.”
Karanikolas now lives in the Iowa City area and is a member of St. Patrick Parish. She sustains peace and joy by practicing the presence of God, seeking silence, and praying with Scripture through Lectio Divina.
The third speaker, retired OB-Gyn Dr. Marty Garza of Holy Family Parish in Fort Madison, spoke on patience, gentleness, and self-control — virtues she admitted did not always come naturally.
A pilgrimage to the Holy Land transformed her life and renewed her commitment to Christ. In a gentle, reflective tone, she offered practical “weapons” for spiritual growth: praying the Morning Offering, invoking the Holy Spirit daily, praying before conversations, and surrendering control with grace. “Learn to pray constantly,” she said. “Train your mind, master your tongue, and model Jesus, the saints, and the Blessed Mother.”
“I didn’t realize gentleness was a fruit of the Holy Spirit,” said participant Iwona Gryglicka of St. Wenceslaus Parish. “I loved her point that only strong people can be gentle.”
The retreat concluded with laughter as Anne Mallampalli, from Columbus, Ohio, shared her insights on growing in goodness and faithfulness. She encouraged participants to look for God’s goodness everywhere and in everyone, listening with compassion as Jesus did. “Treat others with mercy, justice, humility, and meekness,” she said. “Give more than what is required. Our God is a generous God!”
Faithfulness, she added, is practiced through reliability: keeping one’s word, showing up on time, staying in touch, and being willing to be interrupted. She urged participants to rely on the sacraments for the grace needed to persevere. Echoing Cain’s opening message, Mallampalli reminded the women that Christians are meant to abide in God together. “Don’t go it alone,” she said. “Each of you should leave with one new friend. Get her phone number!”
Many took that advice to heart. “It was a lovely morning with friends, new and old,” said Karina Smith of St. Mary Parish in Iowa City. “The speakers shared wisdom and encouragement with such vulnerability.”
Anne Jensen of St. Thomas More Parish in Coralville attended the annual retreat for the first time. “Beginning with Mass and continuing with four unique and inspired presentations, this retreat gave me an experience of the Holy Spirit,” she said. “I left with new peace and joy, and resources that are enriching my daily spiritual practices.”
