By Diane Oetken VanDuzen
Guest Column
I stepped out of the stuffy waiting room into the coolness of the hospital hallway for the third time. All morning, I had been moving back and forth between the waiting room, which was too hot, and the hallway, which was too cold. The back-and-forth and the nervous pacing that accompanied it mirrored the anxiety I felt as I waited for word about my boyfriend Keith ‘s open-heart bypass surgery.
Keith and I had been dating for only six months when, in the spring of 2024, he noticed he was becoming fatigued and out of breath while taking long walks. At sixty-five, he knew slowing down was expected, but something felt wrong. When he visited his cardiologist in May, he failed his treadmill heart stress test. Further tests showed extensive blockages in the heart arteries, along with a recommendation: he would need bypass surgery. In the months leading up to the surgery, Keith prepared for the worst and got his “house in order.”
“O Jesus, I Surrender Myself to You!”
During those months of waiting, a friend from my parish told me about the Surrender Prayer and Novena. Written by Servant of God Don Dolindo Ruotolo, an Italian priest who died in 1970, the prayer is short and simple: “O Jesus, I surrender myself to you, take care of everything!” I shared it with Keith, and in the weeks leading up to the surgery, we prayed the Surrender Novena to help lessen our anxiety. Keith surrendered the whole outcome to Jesus, including whether he lived or died. This gave him peace and courage as the time for the surgery drew closer. The week before surgery, he received the sacraments of Anointing of the Sick, Communion, and Confession. Spiritually, he hoped he was ready for whatever would come.
On Sept. 9, family and friends — seven of us —accompanied Keith to the hospital for his surgery. While we waited, I prayed a Rosary for Keith. As the hours dragged on, I struggled to keep my anxiety-fueled what-ifs at bay. I repeated, “Jesus, I trust in you” over and over in my mind. But I was really praying more to calm myself than for Keith.
As I stood in the cold hospital hallway, my phone buzzed. It was a text message from the operating room: “The patient has been placed on the bypass machine.” A jolt of fear hit my stomach. I knew this meant that the surgery was beginning. They had stopped Keith’s heart, and a machine was now pumping his blood instead. Keith had most feared this moment when his heart would be stopped, with the possibility that they wouldn’t be able to restart it again.
“My Heart Is Beating for His Heart.”
At the same time that I got that message, I saw in my mind a picture of the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and then I saw Jesus take his right hand and pull his heart out of the picture. I then saw Keith’s open chest on the operating table as Jesus leaned over, took his own heart, and laid it on top of Keith’s heart. He pressed down on it, as if melding it into Keith’s heart. In awe, I contemplated this image for a long time.
Then I saw Jesus standing beside Keith on the operating table. With his right arm around Keith’s shoulder, Jesus pointed with his left hand, as if showing Keith something, and then they slowly walked away together into the distance. I started to panic. “No, Jesus, bring him back!” I called out in my mind. Instantly, my mind shifted back to the operation room, where I saw Jesus leaning even further over Keith. He was now embracing Keith with his left arm. Jesus’ right hand was still pressing down on his own heart as it lay atop Keith’s heart. Jesus then turned his head to the right and looked back at me, and I “heard” him say, “My heart is beating for his heart.”
I was flooded with calm. I knew right then that Keith would survive the surgery. Shortly afterward, I received another text message from the operating room: “The patient has come off the bypass machine.” Keith’s heart was beating again! He had been on the operating table with no heartbeat for ninety minutes. Later, to my relief, the surgeon came out to tell us that the surgery had gone well. Everything felt surreal. I was in awe. This was so far beyond anything I’d experienced before.
In the weeks that followed, Keith continued to heal and improve. Spiritual realities behind physical events. I believe that Jesus allowed me to sense how he participated in Keith’s surgery because he knew I needed it to calm my anxiety. Although I had surrendered my fears to Jesus when I prayed the Surrender Novena the week before, I still felt anxious. Jesus, in his compassion, chose to comfort me. And when Keith prayed the Surrender Novena, he gave Jesus permission to “take care of everything.” Not knowing whether he would survive the surgery, he left it all up to the Lord. And Jesus truly did take care of everything!
Keith has since recovered well and is able to be physically active again. And I have found a new peace and confidence in Jesus’ power to heal. Before this event, I had been part of several parish healing prayer teams. I would occasionally receive a “word” from God or see a picture in my mind when praying for someone. Now, I have a new level of trust and confidence in Jesus the healer than I did before.
I know — even if I can’t see it — that he is working behind the scenes. In fact, since this happened, I’ve noted that about half the people who ask for prayer aren’t seeking physical healing but healing of the heart. They are seeking assurance that Jesus is truly there, walking beside them in the struggles of life. After all I have witnessed on this healing journey, I have confidence that he is our closest companion and our healer.
(Diane Oetken VanDuzen is a member of Divine Mercy Parish in Burlington/West Burlington. This column will appear in the November 2025 issue of Word Among Us magazine. The publication can be found at: wau.org. This is being reprinted with permission of the author.)
