By Sam Aitchison
The Church is Alive!
Sadness. Confusion. Anger. Frustration. Shock. These were some of the feelings I experienced watching news coverage of the tragic school shooting at Annunciation Catholic Church and School in Minneapolis. In the days that followed, as more details became available, I felt a loss of hope.
Why would someone kill and injure innocent children praying in church? Why would someone planning to commit such atrocities not express empathy or remorse? Why would someone share, in their writings, admiration for school shooters and mass murders? At age 21, I have heard of and seen plenty of hurt, pain, violence and suffering through the news and in the communities of which I have been a part. Last month’s egregious act of violence in our Catholic Church hit close to my heart.
At our Sunday evening student Mass last week, the priest’s homily referenced the book “Brothers Karamazov” by Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky, which I read a few years ago. Looking back at parts of the book and my notes, I found a powerful lesson on hope in difficult times.
Brothers Karamazov focuses on three brothers — Dimitri (a passionate and emotional person), Ivan (an intellectual), and Alyosha (a spiritual individual). In one scene, Ivan meets with Alyosha in a bar and shares that he’s struggling with his faith. Ivan cannot understand a world where innocent children suffer and are killed, even if somehow this is part of God’s divine plan.
He describes cruelty in various forms and tells Alyosha that this is simply not justifiable for the hope of salvation someday. Ivan doesn’t deny God’s existence but concludes that there is no eternal reward that can justify such innocent suffering.
The shooting at Annunciation Catholic Church and seeing warfare coverage in the media can make me feel like Ivan. My rational brain cannot understand why these atrocities exist and how a loving God permits such things to happen.
Alyosha listens to Ivan quietly and doesn’t argue with his brother or tell him he’s a fool for questioning God and his plan. Alyosha shows compassion for Ivan and shares his sadness for the suffering that humanity faces.
To me, as a Catholic, Alyosha’s response to innocent suffering and violence seems appropriate. I believe it is okay for us, initially, to feel hopeless and to feel a sense of despair in response to events such as the tragic shooting. We, as people of faith, believe in God’s love and his plan. However, this doesn’t mean we must have an answer to every question, nor feel guilty if we lose hope in times of despair or doubt. I think we can be people of hope while being honest with ourselves that we might feel hopeless at times. Alyosha, in Brothers Karamazov, allowed himself to feel the despair that his brother felt, without giving in to hopelessness.
Many of us may have felt hopeless after the senseless tragedy in Minneapolis. Our response as people of faith in this Jubilee Year of Hope is to convey hope in our thoughts and actions toward others. How can we pray and love in a manner that demonstrates, “Lord, I don’t understand, but still, I trust in you.”
(Sam Aitchison is a senior at Saint Louis University in St. Louis. Contact him at samaitchison6@gmail.com.)
