By Hal Green
Pondering Prayer
Henri Nouwen (1932-1996) was a Dutch Catholic priest, a professor and writer, a theologian, psychologist, and spiritual mentor to many, myself included. He was a loving and gentle soul, who in his final years worked with individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities at the L’Arche Daybreak community in Richmond Hill, Ontario. His prayer:
“Dear God, I so much want to be in control. I want to be the master of my own destiny. Still I know that you are saying: ‘Let me take you by the hand and lead you. Accept my love and trust that where I will bring you, the deepest desires of your heart will be fulfilled.’ Lord, open my hands to receive your gift of love. Amen.”
This prayer of Father Nouwen aims directly at something most all of us struggle with throughout our lives: turning control of our lives over to God. We want to be in control; we secretly want the power to be as our own God, even for the best of reasons, to give to rather than take from humanity. We want to be in charge of our daily existence, so we can “siege the day” (“carpe diem”). That includes securing the wellbeing of our loved ones and ourselves.
One of my mother’s favorite poems was “Invictus” by William Ernest Henley. She knew it by heart and quoted it in an effort to inspire me to take control over my life and to do great things. In part, Henley wrote: “Out of the night that covers me, / Black as the pit from pole to pole, / I thank whatever gods may be / For my unconquerable soul . . . / It matters not how strait the gate, / How charged with punishments the scroll, / I am the master of my fate, / I am the captain of my soul.”
That may sound good until life throws you some painful obstacles and you realize that without divine assistance you may not make it through the difficulty. Such obstacles can prove to be for your ultimate benefit, prompting you to turn to God, who has been with you all along, waiting for you. During one such time in my life, when I thought I might not make it, I prayed to God daily for months this prayer of relinquishment:
“I am in Your Hands, Lord. I exist because of You, and for You. Do with me as You will.” Fortunately, it was God’s will to see me through my difficulty. In my absolute dependence on God, God drew me nearer than ever before. Strange how connected such radical reliance on God is to the freedom to be fearlessly who I really am.
Giving over control of your life to God is something you have to do daily. The inviolate truth is, God knows best and will do what is best for you, not just for now, but also for eternity.
(Hal Green, Ph.D., is author of Pray This Way to Connect with God. You can contact him at drhalgreen@gmail.com.)
