By Barb Arland-Fye
Editorial
When we receive marriage announcements from diocesan parishes for publication in The Catholic Messenger, it is reason to celebrate. Death notices outnumber marriage announcements and milestone wedding anniversaries; our hope is for a reversal in that trend. We — individually, and collectively in our parishes — all bear responsibility for transforming hope into reality by responding to the question, What are we doing to support the sacrament of marriage? National Marriage Week (Feb. 7-14) is an excellent time to begin our discernment.
First, look at the sobering facts. In 1965, “U.S. Catholic sacramental marriages reported from the previous year numbered 347,179. In 2022, the figure was 98,354,” noted Georgetown University’s Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate in an article by OSV News (March 13, 2024).
The OSV article included information from a 2020 Pew Research Center study of millennials (born between 1981 and 1996) that “also gave cause for concern, stating, ‘Millennials are much less likely to be living with a family of their own than previous generations when they were the same age.’ Pew found that in 2019, 55% of millennials lived with their spouse, their own child or both, noting, ‘This compares with 66% of Gen Xers in 2003, 69% of Boomers in 1987 and 85% of members of the Silent Generation in 1968.’”
Church leadership and parish-level accompaniment are essential in reversing the trend, along with a change in parents’ priorities that emphasize academic and career achievement ahead of the transcendent and enduring sacrament of marriage, the article pointed out.
Beyond these general realities, the adage, “Children learn what they live,” serves as a reminder that our children need to witness good examples of the sacrament of marriage.
Case in point: Joy Ripslinger will enter the sacrament of marriage with her fiancé Seamus McGettigan on March 1 at Our Lady of Victory Catholic Church in Davenport. She said, “Both of our parents, all of our married siblings and many close friends have been great examples of how beautiful a Catholic marriage is.”
Five years ago, we published a story about a married couple in their 30s who converted to Catholicism, inspired in part by witnessing the example of sacramental marriage set by an older Catholic couple they had befriended. All married couples can serve as examples to younger adults, related or not!
Marianne Agnoli, diocesan Marriage and Family Life coordinator, offered excellent advice that applies to all married couples — from newlyweds to couples married 50 years or longer. This advice came at the end of the 50+ anniversary Mass at St. Patrick Church in Iowa City on Oct. 20, when she explained that she would be preparing couples for marriage a week later in Pella. “I will challenge them to follow your example: to persevere in prayer, self-sacrifice, forgiveness and faithfulness so that 50 years from now, they too will be participating in their own celebration liturgy,” she said.
In addition to her advice, check out resources for enriching and strengthening marriage on the diocesan Marriage and Family Life page (davenportdiocese.org/marriage-enrichment). Among the resources:
- Worldwide Marriage Encounter Weekend. Whether you’ve been married one year or 50 years, a Marriage Encounter Weekend can put a breath of fresh air into your relationship. For more information, call Denise at (563) 920-9419 or register at wwme.org
- The Virtues: Four Dates for Catholic Couples. In this free, online program, couples reflect on the habits that help spouses mature as persons, grow in holiness and strengthen their marriage. The virtues of prudence, justice, fortitude and temperance are explored.
- Be Light: A Marriage Renewal Date Night Series. Couples enjoy a virtual date night and the opportunity to connect with other couples through a five-part marriage enrichment series sponsored by Witness to Love.
- Catholic Couple Checkup. This online assessment tool is meant to be a fun, easy way to take a closer look at your relationship, increase relationship strengths and spark meaningful conversation between you and your partner.
- The 5 Love Languages Assessment. Discover your love language and begin improving your relationships. Your love language profile will explain your primary love language and what it means and how you can use it to connect to others.
- Love in Marriage: Pope Francis on Living and Growing in Love. Reflect on chapter 4 of Pope Francis’ Apostolic Exhortation, “Amoris Laetitia” (“The Joy of Love”). The text is divided into small sections, each followed by questions for reflection or discussion.
- Another excellent resource is “For Your Marriage,” a program of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops (foryourmarriage.org).
These are some of the ways that help us respond to the question, “What are we doing to support the sacrament of marriage?”
Barb Arland-Fye, Editor
arland-fye@davenportdiocese.org
