By Kathy Berken
On Deck
In his book, “On the Brink of Everything,” spiritual writer Parker Palmer tells a story about the verse from Deuteronomy that instructs us to “place [God’s] words upon your hearts” (11:18). A disciple asks the rabbi, “Why does it not tell us to place them IN our hearts?” The rabbi answers, “It is because as we are, our hearts are closed and we cannot place the holy words IN our hearts. So, we place them ON TOP OF our hearts and there they stay until, one day, the heart breaks and the words fall in.”
How often do we go to Mass and listen to the readings but forget them even before Mass ends? How many times have we heard Bible quotes repeated, participated in a Bible study group or read passages during our prayer time and quickly forgotten the words? To be honest, this happens to me a lot!
My work at the Franciscan Retreat Center in Prior Lake, Minnesota involves finding and studying Scripture for our many prayer services throughout our retreats. As much as I love the quotes we choose, and have “placed them upon my heart,” I realize that they have not entered my heart unless they relate to some personal experience that breaks open my heart.
Isn’t that true of most things? Gestures of kindness may go unnoticed until the day someone sacrifices something for you. A few weeks ago, I was at a packed outdoor event where we stood for several hours in the cold. My legs were beginning to ache and I desperately needed to walk or sit down. There was no room to walk and the only seat was on Sister Susan’s walker, which she was using. I leaned slightly against the armrest and she asked if I was okay. I lied and said I was but after about 10 minutes of my fidgeting, she got up and told me to sit down and she wouldn’t take no for an answer! What a generous gift! We traded places every 10 minutes or so until the event was over.
When we left, I turned to her, leaned in, looked directly into her eyes and whispered, “Thank you. You saved my life.” Although she also needed to sit, she willingly sacrificed her comfort for mine. Her compassionate gesture had meaning and fell into my heart that day. I now hear phrases such as “I have placed you in the palm of my hand” (Is. 49:16) and “Do not be afraid, for I am with you” (Jer. 46:28) in a different context. They are in my heart, not just sitting on top.
I have found that my growing interest in contemplation guides me to Centering Prayer as a way to be more fully aware of the presence of God. The verse “Be still and know I am God” (Ps. 46:10) is an anchor within my heart and leads me to appreciate the sign on my bulletin board: “Rest in God’s Being.”
When my body or brain let me down, when I make mistakes or bruise a relationship, these experiences break my heart. However, Palmer reminds me that some Scripture verses placed on my heart all these years have fallen in to help me feel God’s love more deeply.
Palmer describes well the path towards wholeness, which leads us to become fully human. It is a path that requires a willingness to fall and to get up, again and again, secure in knowing that God’s word is held safely within our hearts.
(Kathy Berken is a spiritual director and retreat leader in St. Paul, Minnesota. She lived and worked at L’Arche in Clinton — The Arch from 1999-2009.)
