By Jenna Ebener
A Reflection
In my last article, I wrote about how I instinctively call out to God in times of distress. Just one day after writing that article, my declaration was put to the ultimate test. I was in Washington state over spring break when I experienced a demonic attack.
It was 5:30 in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. I was awake but trying to fall back asleep. Suddenly, I experienced a vision that I could not “unsee.” I saw demons orchestrating an event and cheering me on as I watched. When the scene finished, I felt a dark presence say, “You are mine.” As I jumped out of bed, I started shouting Jesus’ name. The voice said, “It’s too late.” As I grabbed my phone to try to call 911, the screen was in symbols. I ran out of the room and ran into my aunt. It took some time, but I finally came back to reality and noticed the presence was gone.
I share this experience for many reasons. I learned many things that day and I know I need to share them with others. This article is the start of what I hope to be a book someday, sharing inside knowledge into how the devil works. The devil does not know the future — I highly doubt that he expected me to compile a 30-plus-page document of prayers, Scriptures, images and messages I have learned mere hours after this experience. It is one thing to hear about and another to experience such an event.
I witnessed firsthand how the devil plays into my deepest fears and insecurities. Two of the biggest false beliefs I have been working through for over three years are that something is wrong with me at my core, and that I cannot trust myself. The statements I heard, “You are mine” and “It is too late” struck at my core doubts. After this event, I was finally able to renounce those words for what they are — lies. In daylight, the thought that I could be anyone but God’s was laughable, as was the belief that it is ever too late for God. I didn’t know the depth of power the devil had and that is why it was hard to believe my reality at first. Now I know the true power and the might of the One who saved me.
I have consulted with many spiritual people on this matter and they all say the same thing — this experience only happened because God allowed it to happen and that God has a plan. There might be a variety of reasons for this test — I had a spiritual breakthrough in December and finally feel God’s presence again, which the devil does not like; I made the bold assertion that I always call out to God; or perhaps I needed to experience what true desolation feels like so I can help myself and others.
While I was in desolation for over three years, I now know what it truly means to feel the terror of being cut off from God utterly and completely. My heart breaks that others have that separation and I want to use this experience to help others avoid falling into that pit.
For now, I leave you with a question to ponder and a statement of truth. What are your fears the devil may try to use against you? If you are spiritually attacked, take comfort in the knowledge that God is with you and will lead you through. “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’” (Jeremiah 29:11).
(Jenna Ebener, a graduate of St. Ambrose University in Davenport, is a social worker at a school in Colorado for students with a combination of medical, cognitive and behavior disabilities. She relies on God every day to aid her on this wonderful, yet intense journey.)
