Father Troy Richmond speaks during a morning prayer retreat for men earlier this month at St. Patrick Parish in Iowa City.
By Lindsay Steele
The Catholic Messenger
IOWA CITY — The 115 men gathered for a morning prayer retreat at St. Patrick Parish boosted Father Troy Richmond’s spirits. “It brings hope to me to see men like you taking time on a Saturday when you could be doing a jillion other things,” said Father Richmond, the parish’s pastor. “To (see you) here to learn about how you can become men of prayer is such a great gift.”
Participants at the Feb. 1 retreat came from local parishes including St. Mary, St. Wenceslaus and St. Patrick in Iowa City; St. Thomas More Parish-Coralville; St. Mary Parish-Williamsburg and Ss. Mary & Mathias Parish-Muscatine. Men from the Cedar Rapids, Iowa area also took part in the half-day retreat. “We were thrilled with the turnout,” said Mila Grady, a co-organizer.
The day began with Mass and continued in the parish hall with breakfast and talks by Father Richmond and Father Andrew Rauenbuehler, pastor of St. Mary Parish-Iowa City. Father Richmond began his talk by asking the crowd to consider the meaning of prayer.
“I think we have to begin with the foundation … our personal relationship with God.” Father Richmond said his faith suffered in the early years of his priesthood because he wasn’t making time for personal prayer. “It was hard transitioning from seminary into priesthood life with all the new demands … I fell away from prayer, it became an afterthought. It became something I did only if I had time. I was most weak during this time. My ministry became more about going through the motions.” Then-Father Robert Gruss, a priest of the Diocese of Davenport who now serves as Bishop of Saginaw, Michigan encouraged Father Richmond to schedule time for prayer. “I put it in my calendar as ‘Appointment with God,’” Father Richmond recalled, noting that he gained a sense of clarity and renewed purpose once he began making time for daily personal prayer.
He encouraged retreatants to schedule about 15-20 minutes for prayer daily in a location free from distractions. An adoration chapel is ideal but men can also set up an altar in their home with candles, Scripture, icons of favorite saints and other worship aids. There is no right or wrong way to begin prayer, he said, but structuring it is important. He encouraged the married men to make time to pray with their wives each day, as well. “Even if it’s a decade of the rosary, make that a priority.”
Father Rauenbuehler asked the group to offer “wrong answers only” about how society sees masculinity. The men’s answers: toxic, demanding, stoic and infallible, contrast with the Bible’s description of Jesus and other men as caring, submissive to God and selfless, Father Rauenbuehler said. “When life is about me, when it’s all about getting awards, filling myself up with more accolades, achievements, wealth, belongings… what happens to us? We get sick — so unless we find a way to give ourselves away in love, we’re going to become lost in this world. But, if we find a way to give of ourselves, we can be a source of life for many.”
Father Rauenbuehler encouraged the men to use the acronym ARRR to guide them through personal prayer:
- Acknowledge: Become aware of your thoughts, needs and desires.
- Relate: Share those thoughts and needs with God.
- Receive: Be open to receiving God’s love, wisdom and direction.
- Respond: Resolve to enact the fruit of your prayer.
Father Rauenbuehler said it is common to think of prayer as transactional; that if you love God enough, he will provide. Because God’s love is infinite, prayer is more akin to opening a window on a sunny day and letting the light in. “The reward for prayer is not the result, it’s the relationship” with God.
Mark Armstrong, a Williamsburg parishioner, said he is grateful to Fathers Richmond and Rauenbuehler for sharing their testimonies and knowledge with participants. “It’s awesome knowing so many men want to better their prayer life and relationship with God.”
Bill Doucette, a St. Mary Parish-Iowa City parishioner and father of a diocesan priest, also appreciated the retreat’s communal aspect. “Today’s secular world bombards us with messages that are not consistent with living the Gospel,” he believes. “I’ve come to realize that the more time I spend with people living their Christian faith, the more joy I have and the less concern I have about the things of this world.” He found the ARRR acronym helpful for personal prayer. “I like that both speaking and listening are part of it, more a dialogue with God.”
Participant David Drake of St. Mary Parish-Iowa City said his prayer life feels too methodical and mechanical at times. He chose to attend the retreat because “I want to learn to have a more personal relationship with our Lord. I need to open up more in prayer.” Since the retreat, he has spent “a lot of time in silence reflecting and praying.”
Jeff Long, a member of St. Patrick-Iowa City, said it was reassuring and encouraging to know that prayer challenges — like the ones his pastor experienced — can be overcome.
David Cortez, a young adult from the host parish, is discerning a call to priesthood or religious life. He appreciated the guidance on prayer and the discussion on what it means to be a Godly man. “Jesus is the most perfect example of what a man is, not what the world says a man is.”
Audio Recordings
Listen to audio recordings of the prayer retreat talks at https://tinyurl.com/ICprayerretreat
