By Jenna Ebener
A reflection
I recently had the joy of visiting Costa Rica. As I was driving to the airport in the middle of the night, the stillness struck me. I kept noticing the empty stores I passed. Whether their lights were on or off, I could see clearly into every building I passed. I realized that in daylight I typically see only reflections of the traffic on those windows or a glared view of the buildings’ interiors. I could not help but make a connection to the idea that perhaps the darkness brings out our true light. Times of struggle seem to reveal our true selves. It is also during times of darkness that I think our inner light can shine the brightest.
My stay in Costa Rica reminded me of this inner light. Despite still going through many worldly struggles, I found inner peace often during my trip. I experienced God’s presence with all of my senses, especially every time I was in or near water. I saw God in the ocean, palm trees silhouetted against the night sky and numerous wildlife. I felt God in the sand beneath my feet, waves crashing over me, breeze from the zipline, and the cascading waterfall over my face as I rappelled. I tasted God in the saltwater and fresh pineapple, plantains and papaya. I heard God in the sound of the waves, monkeys and macaws. I smelled God in the rainfall, tropical trees and salty scent of the ocean. All of these experiences made me feel like God was embracing me in a warm hug.
I know my inner light was shining throughout these experiences. Whenever I felt embraced by God, it was so easy to be my authentic self and be fully present in the moment. I felt God the strongest when I was in the ocean and canyoneering, and I know others noticed. They commented on how peaceful I looked or how my joy was contagious. It was a great reminder that we spread our light simply by being ourselves.
I was reminded of my inner light every time I stepped into the ocean. The ocean reminds me of life. It is always in motion and you never know in which direction it is going to take you. When waves are building, you are pulled away from the beach. When the waves are breaking, you are pulled towards the beach. When you are standing still, the sand is ever shifting beneath your feet so that you need to adjust your footing continuously.
Nothing about the ocean feels secure. Yet, I could not stay out of the water. Despite its precariousness, I felt peace and contentment. I kept my orientation to the beach so I would not lose my way, but I let the currents push and pull me without resistance. I had no expectations so I was able to appreciate each moment. I trusted myself and knew I had the swimming skills necessary if I suddenly felt unsafe. I was able to simply be.
How wonderful it would be if we could always embrace life in that same way. If we could find a sense of inner light and peace despite the tumultuousness and darkness of life and allow the crashing of waves around us without fear. What in your life re-centers you to your inner light? “For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light” (Ephesians 5:8).
(Jenna Ebener, a graduate of St. Ambrose University in Davenport, is a social worker at a school in Colorado for students with a combination of medical, cognitive and behavior disabilities. She relies on God every day to aid her on this wonderful, yet intense journey.)
